Isolation
by TBD
Summary: The fallout of Danny and Lindsay after 4.11 Child’s Play.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: It's been awhile since I posted anything but this one demanded to be written (and who am I to say no?). This story is a bit of a different style for me but I hope you give it a shot and let me know what you think. It will be presented in 6 short chapters. Enjoy.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters from CSI:NY or any story lines you might recognize.

**Spoilers** for 4.11 Child's Play.

Special thanks to **SallyJetson** for all of your betaing, suggestions and encouragement.

**Chapter 1:**

She would catch his image in the glass, always just a glimpse before he'd pass.

Always moving, always moving away from her, away from them; their physical distance mirroring their relationship.

With a sigh she returns to her task, returns to something she can control, striving to return an answer to a suffering soul.

She works busily putting the pieces together, mending their shattered parts, avoiding the breaking of her heart.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another message, another delete, he no longer waits for the beep.

She is trying but that isn't what he wants. He doesn't need this, doesn't need another failure on his conscious.

A quick snap and the cap swirls on the floor, the liquid drains with a single pour.

He feels the effects though slower then he hopes. It isn't enough to pretend, or to wish. It isn't enough to forget that day, or the how and why he went away.

It had all happened and the memories are intensifying instead of fading. Growing more vivid, they sometimes go fast across his mind repeating on an endless loop. Sometimes they slow right down, every detail exposed as they torturously grate at his soul.

All he wants is to forget, and to disconnect with everyone and everything.

If only he knew how well he was succeeding.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed (and those who simply read too). I am amazed at the response I've gotten from the first chapter. Thank you.

Thanks once again to**SallyJetson** for the beta.

**Chapter 2:**

He stares at the skyline and wonders at the seven million people inside. Would they have done better? With them would he have survived?

He thinks back to the week before it had all happened. He had been happy, in love, nothing could touch him.

And it hadn't. It rarely did in his life. Besides the fight that had ended his baseball career, it had always happened to those around him, to him it was less severe.

His brother, his partner, and now the boy down the hall. All dead while he'd done nothing. Done nothing at all.

He couldn't save them, couldn't stop them from their fates. All that's left are their empty shells: comas, ashes and tiny crates.

While he can deal with those he meets in death, he has trouble dealing with the dead he has met in life.

And he will have no more of it.

The dead don't ask him to save them, to protect them or to cure them. They simply ask how and why and who. This he can handle. This he can deal with. And this will be his future.

Dealing with the dead, and forgetting the living.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

She stares at the skyline. Seven million people rise everyday, make their way to work, have lovers, have families and live their lives.

It had always seemed so easy, one foot in front of the other, following her path, always something new to discover.

And now she doesn't know how people do it. What is the point of it all? To push on ahead only to fall?

When you reach an obstacle do you go around, back or over top? And how do you find the courage and energy to decide when it all seems so pointless and you're frozen with fear inside?

The days and hours tick by and slowly the fear and powerlessness of fate overtakes, while numbness settles deep in her bones, only feeling pain as he continues to turn away, never pausing to give her the time of day.

They had been happy once she was sure, though now her mind fights to remember those times, like a dream one tries to grasp as it slowly slips pass.

How could times like those have existed? How could her happiness and joy change to such loneliness and confusion?

And yet she isn't alone.

The clock continues to tick and she needs to decide.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: Thanks everyone. Here is the next chapter.

Thanks to**SallyJetson** for the beta.

** Chapter 3:**

She stares at the cup, no longer hot as her spoon twists and twirls creating ripples on the top. If only she could read what they meant, read her future instead of her present.

Her thoughts are interrupted as an accent rings out, but it's the wrong voice, the wrong blue eyes, the wrong man.

"How's it going?" he asks, his casual tone not hiding his concern, his eyes not hiding their worry.

"Fine," is the response as eyes lower back to the cup. He forced her to be alone and now that is what she continues, isolating herself away more and more each day.

He doesn't leave, not like the other, but sits and patiently waits. The silence unfolds, him being there without saying a word, cracking her loneliness with his mere presence.

"Is there something I can do for you Detective?" she finally asks.

He looks at her with a grin. "You look like shit," he responds, ignoring her question.

"Good to know." She rises from her seat to wash the cup, both craving and fearing his company and friendship.

"You should come out with us tonight. It might do you some good," he suggests as he moves to follow her, hoping she'll say yes, that he can fix her since he can't fix the other.

"Not really in the mood." She watches as the water slowly swirls down the drain, curving around before falling into darkness, into nothingness.

His phone beeps signaling that he has to go. "You haven't been in the mood in awhile. I think you could use something different, a change of scenery. Call me if you change your mind."

She nods absently as he leaves. Is that really what she needs?


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:** Thanks to both the reviewers and the lurkers out there. Only two more chapters after this!

Thanks to** SallyJetson** for the beta.

**Chapter 4:**

He moves slowly down the hall, his feet rejecting his destination. He tries to avoid it, seeing it, making it so real, echoing how he feels. The empty chair, the empty desk, the empty feeling radiating in his chest.

It's been weeks and still he can't bring himself to stay there, always taking his work and going elsewhere. He knew he hurt her, that it needed to be done, but he can't believe she would leave, no goodbyes, that she'd just run.

Mac said that it was only a temporary assignment, that she would return in a few months, but who knows what will happen. What if he never does see her again?

His heart aches at the thought but at least he knows it's still beating, that he's still here and breathing.

No time for questions, he enters the room quickly, grabbing the file, trying not to remember her and that smile.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun penetrates every part of her being as she moves slowly down the beach. Not what he meant but she was glad she was out of reach.

She had started fresh where no one knew her or what they had been. Where no one knew the darkness of her soul and the secrets within.

Her heart still aches as she tries to forget, forget the past and forget the future she had planned, but she is slowly regaining who she is and who she can be again.

She still has her confusion, her doubts and her fear, but slowly the clouds are lifting and her way is becoming clear.

Leaving the beach she knows what she must do. Grabbing paper and pen, she writes three lines which might put it all to an end.

Looking at the envelope in her hand she wonders: Will it make a difference? Will he understand?


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N**: Here is the next one. Only one more left after this.

Thanks to **SallyJetson** for the beta :)

**Chapter 5:**

The memories of that little boy are always in his thoughts, but now they are shared by a brown eyed girl and he is totally at a loss.

He remembers her smile and the way she wore her hair. Her smell, her feel and how she'd do almost anything on a dare.

At first he sees her in his dreams and when he closes his eyes, but now she is there everywhere, a stalker at his side.

Has he done the right thing keeping himself away? He misses her, misses them, and it's killing him more each day.

How can he tell her and should he really try? After all he had left her before she'd left him without goodbyes.

He continues his way home, full of doubt, full of woe. He grabs his mail, and sees an address he doesn't know.

The address is strange but the writing he knows by heart. Her curves, her dots, her, who would always hold his heart.

He stares at it with both longing and fear. What can it mean? What will it say? Does she want a second go or for him to stay away?

He tears at it carefully, preserving her script, but the paper flutters to the floor as it slips from his grip.

Three lines and an initial stare at him from below. Their meaning clear but their future unknown.

_I'm pregnant._

_It's yours._

_I'm keeping it._

_-L_


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N**: So here is the conclusion of my little fic. Thank you to everyone who's taken the time to read this and especially to those who have reviewed, I love reading your thoughts.

Huge thanks, as always, to **SallyJetson** for the beta, support and encouragement :)

**Chapter 6:**

Her plane arrives; she steps along and slowly raises her head. She can't find her ride but what she does see fills her heart with dread.

He's standing before her, standing there waiting. His eyes lock on hers, there is no evading.

She approaches calmly, not sure what to think. The knot in her stomach tightening and if not pregnant she'd have a drink.

He gives her a nod and asks about her flight. Too normal, too subtle, it just doesn't feel right.

What he's doing here, he won't exactly say, but instead grabs her bag and slowly walks away.

They drive in silence, neither speaking, neither looking at the other, each lost in their thoughts of them together.

She's startled when he stops at his place instead of hers, all their memories returning, more than she prefers.

He unlocks the door and gently takes her hand, the feeling of his skin burning like a brand.

He stops at a door before leading her inside, the sight she sees before her putting tears in her eyes.

The walls have been painted a soft and gentle blue. The desk gone; there stands a crib, the bookshelf a changing table, and a rocking chair completes her view.

He looks at her his eyes full of hope. "A new life means a new beginning," he says as he gives her stomach a stroke." I thought maybe we could have one too. Tell me it's not too late."

She looks at him, he looks at her, there's no need for debate.

Finally she smiles, the smile he missed so much, "All we can do is try," she responds, wrapping her arms around him, delighting in his touch.


End file.
